Ode To Joy

American and British scientists have figured out a way to transmit sensations through the internet, and had "shaken hands" across the Atlantic Ocean. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. COOLNESS! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Man, there's so much potential in this technology. HAHAHAHAHA. HEEHEEHEE. This is the best invention since sixty-nine. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Man, just the thought of it is making me giddy. HEEHEEHEE. THE. BEST. INVENTION. EVER! Hehehehehe.

Being Jun II

Why am I so MANLY?

Point Of Entry

Since I put my email address up on my blog, aside from the spam bots, I get an email now and then from people stumbling on to the page. And minus the outraged remarks that I get listed so high on searches for naked pics of Avril Lavigne, the general theme is :what is the point of my entries? Well, I don't really have any points here. I'm just writing thoughts and stuff that I see that makes me laugh. And that's my biggest failing, really. I just want the world to be funny.

Being Jun

Is it just me, or does alcohol and cigarettes taste alot better when the weather is cold?

Pork Barrel

I was taking the subway yesterday, going to go meet some buddies of mine for another night of two-fisted drinking. And there must have been a mosque nearby where I got off the train, since on the way to the exit, I ran across several groups of Muslim looking people. I mean, there's not that many Muslims her so I would think that they were tourists or something if they were together, but there were not. Anyways, that made me think if I can deal with being a Muslim, aside from the absurdity I feel from the idea of the religious racket as a whole.

And I decided I can live without pork. Except sausages. I need my sausage fix. And then there's the whole roasted suckling pig. Gotta have those. And I can't live without the occasional barbecued ribs, and who can turn down some pork chops with mint sauce? And a trip to a Chinese restaurant isn't complete without an order of sweet and sour pork. Then I need to have some bacon occasionally in the morning. Not that I particularly like bacon, but it's almost a tradition, you know? Aside from those exceptions, I decided I can live without pork. It's the alcohol that I can't live without. Alcohol is man's best friend, after all. I don't drink often, but when I drink...woo-hoo! As I mentioned before, two of my friends and I finished off two kegs of beer in one night.

Hmmm. Alot like last night. Although there were 5 of us last night, and we were the only ones in the bar, but I distinctly remember the bartender changing the kegs twice. They don't make the kegs like they used to, don't they?

Take Me Out To The...

As with a billion other people, I watch the World Series. But why is it that during sporting events, especially baseball, I keep falling asleep? I mean, I BE MANLY! I shoud be following the game like a hungry wolf following a herd of rabbits. Instead, as soon as the game is on, it's like someone forcefed me a bottle of percodan or hit my head with a sledgehammer-I get knocked out like a log. Not very MANLY at all. And I can honestly say I slept through alot of important sporting events, like Barry Bonds' record breaking home run, Dale Earnheardt's fatal crash, John Elway's first Superbowl win, day Cal Ripken broke the consecutive days record, etc.

Rescue Me

I guess it's my fault that I'm currently in one of the most crowded cities in the world. Like I went to the bookstore the other day, and it was so crowded, I had to stand still most of the time. Except when I went to the English section. THAT was empty. But other sections, it was like riding the subway at rush hour. Packed like sardines in a can, browsing only the items that is like around a five feet radius of me, even though I ended up in the pregnancy and child care section. *shudder*

And speaking about subways, what is it with these stupid fucks who INSISTS on going out on a holiday? I mean last holiday I was going to go meet some buddies, to catch a movie then perhaps a drink or two or twenty, and the subway was fucking crowded. Why can't they stay home and rest on a day off like normal people? Why are they crawling out from under whatever rocks and crowding up the subway and the streets when I'm trying to enjoy spending some time with my friends on a holiday? Some people are SO inconsiderate.

Medium Rare

You know what, getting the notebook was a great idea. The one good idea I had in years, among the plethora of bad ideas. (Can we say, wrong hole?) I already have like 4 pages of blog ideas in like less than a week, about 15 until now. And probably one out of those 15 might be a good entry, if I'm lucky. And I think the quality has slightly been improved. I mentioned before that I'm my biggest fan, it's not rare when I walk around and giggle to myself like the town idiot because I had a funny idea. Now I write it down and give it the 24 hour test. If after 24 hours it still seems like a good blog idea, then I blog.

Of course, since I love my writing so much, it's not that big an accomplishment in the first place.

Broken Promises

So I don't keep promises to myself. Big fucking deal.

It's been kinda cold recently, which don't bother me that much, since I'm such a cool guy. (Yes, I'm still delusional, always has been, always will be. Get over it.) Apparently a cold front has moved down from the artic, and the windchill is around freezing now. According to the weathergirl, who was dressed nattily in a red leather jacket last night by the way (I'm a big fan), it's like 5 degrees colder than average of this time of year. Just my luck, huh? First storms, then abnormally cold temperatures. I swear I bring catastrophes along with me.

I don't want anyone who reads this for the first time, especially the fellow perverts who found this place from googling for naked pics of Avril Lavigne, that this is either a photo blog or that I only talk about the fucking weather. So gonna share something I heard today that made me happy. Someone today told me that my goatee made me look like a cartoon character. YAY! Finally!!!! A compliment about my appearance! Hehehehe, first time in my life, baby.

Title Of Record

Recently I've been thinking my title isn't unique enough. I mean, I totally get my ass kicked by this fucking town in Australia called Manly, and it's not like my blog is the only one that has manly in the title. I mean, like my friend Miel, her blog kicks everyone's ass, since her title is Detritus, a very orginal and creative and unique title. Something my brain would never fucking come up with if someone stuck detritus up my ass. What the fuck is detritus, anyways? I know, I know, I'm a fucking moron. Tell me something I don't know, genius. Hmmm, back to the point, if you google Detritus, Miel's blog comes up top, while I'm delegated to like the 700th page when you google manly.

There are ways to jack up my google rank, you know. I just gotta pimp my blog and put up links on every other page I can find. Especially on popular pages. But then again, I don't want too high a rank in the first place. I get enough weird referrals already, as seen on the "Referral of the Day" link. I seem to get a lot of search referrals for naked pics of Avril Lavigne, recently. Sickos. She's only 17! I would wait a year before searching for naked pics of her. That's the decent thing to do. Anyways, I just wanna rank high enough to boost my ego up a little without attracting TOO much sick motherfuckers.

After all there's the rule, only one sick motherfucker per blog. And I'm sick enough a motherfucker to fill 5 blogs, let alone mine.

Habit Forming

I took some pics of my goatee.

And I swear, I'm not going to replace my entries with photos. I'm just getting some undue influences from my honey, since she posts alot of pics, and it looks good. She IS very inspirational to me, after all. And since I LOVE my own writing, cracking myself up, most likely the only person I amuse with my blog, so I should be apologizing to myself. I'm sorry, Jun. I shall promise myself this will be the last photo entry for a while. I promise. Really.

All Filler, No Killer

Since the next entry is planned to be photos too, and since I don't want this to turn into a fucking photo journal, lemme tell you about something I saw today. I was walking in the street when I spied a store called "Hustler" across the street. And you know me, when I see HUSTLER, I immediately think of Larry Flynt's mag, the pinnacle of artistic excellence. With a big shit eating grin on my face, I wanted to cross the street to check it out, when I saw that instead of selling magazines of chicks shyly spreading themselves, it was a outdoor clothing and equipment store. Sheesh. That's almost like those Japanese chicks who proudly wear those T-shirts with "COCKSUCKER" printed in big letters in the front. They kinda have a double meaning, you dumbass.

Come to think of it, that's the kind of chick that catches my eye, those dumb enough to be easily persuaded to do...stuff.

Revelry

I'm not fucking around here.

Give us freedom or give us death! We're people too, dammit!

Told You So

See? I haven't killed all my brain cells yet.

And if I don't manage to score a girlfriend soon, I need to take up a hobby or something. I spent a couple of hours this afternoon amusing myself by avidly watching the railway workers build a new train station and railroad a few hundred feet from my apartment. Maybe I need to start collecting stamps or newspaper clippings or rocks or something.

Fight! For Your Right!

Past couple of days, I've been getting much complaints from people about my smoking. One person even threatened that I would never go down on her if I continued smoking. That is soooo cruel. Like a Hobson's choice. You know, I don't have that addictive a personality. When it doesn't feel good, I quit. I'm only addicted to ONE thing. But the thing is, I enjoy smoking. Almost as much as that ONE THING. And those silly non-smoking ads do nothing but to give me the urge to light up. And you know, if it started not feeling good, I would quit like tomorrow without any qualms about it.

And while I'm on the topic of smoking, I'm sick of being herded into a closet, being chased outside in a blizzard, being treated like a rabid dog waiting for the .22 in the temple. I mean, doesn't it remind you of something? Maybe the Deep South in the 50s, being herded into the back of the bus? I mean, not comparing myself to them, but this IS a clear case of segregation, you know? If any other group of people are treated like smokers, there would be hell to pay. Fucking health nazis. It's about time that we smokers unite, and fight for the right to light up whenever and wherever the fuck we want. I mean, in California and New York, it's illegal to smoke in bars, and in certain sections of Tokyo, it's illegal to smoke in the street. Yes, the street. Go catch some fucking drug users, and leave us the fuck alone, dammit. The rate this is going, we gotta row out to international waters before we can light up. Motherfucking health nazis.

*Lights a Marlboro*

Exception To The Rule

A few nights ago, I went to a pretty cool jazz bar. They had this jazz band there, and the drummer RULED. They had a pretty decent piano player, singer, some old, bored saxophone guy, and then this one guy playing a stand-up bass. And he SUCKED. He looked liked he played the bass for a month, or something, and the band was really hurting for a stand-up bass player. But then again, he was the only one who really sucked there, so can't complain.

Anyways, I was sitting there, drinking a bottle of wine, totally mesmerized by the drummer. I mean, I played a little drums before. Well, I played guitar, bass guitar, and drums, all very badly. I figured if I was gonna suck, then better suck at as many instruments as I can. When I look at other drummers at club bands, I can pretty much say with great confidence, that if I had a bit of time to practice, maybe a week or two, I can play the songs that they're playing. But when I looked at this jazz drummer, I was completely lost. He looked like he had the whole rhythm scheme mapped out in his head, and was improvisizing from that. If I played for like 10 hours a day, for a year, then MAYBE I can imitate him a little. And you know what, I would fuck him, yes fuck him, if doing that would make me half as good as him from the act of fucking.

I mean, as I sat there watching, I had this impression that he was Yoda from Attack of The Clones, and I was a federation droid. Or baby Anakin from Phantom Menace.

Brain Freeze

You know, right before I went to bed last couple of nights, I had great ideas upon which to blog about. Funny, witty, clever, yet thought provoking. Yes, clear opposite from my previous entries. And here I sit, facing the screen, and I can't think of a single idea. The one idea that pops to mind, about my facial hair, sounds SO lame. I think the older I get, the more addle-headed I am. I mean, just a couple of years ago, when I was still a teenager, I can think of something, and I wouldn't be able to forget it, no matter how hard I try. Nowadays, I think of something, think it's really good so I must remember it so I can use it later, then forget it a few minutes later. I swear, I NEED to buy a small notebook and carry it around so I can write my ideas down.

If I can fucking remember to buy the fucking notebook, that is.

Skulls

As I've stated in the very beginning of this blog, back in January, I'm a big Jackie Chan fan. So I've been following the press junket of his new movie, The Tuxedo, so I've been seeing alot of Jennifer Love Hewitt, and doesn't she look more and more like a refugee from a third world country suffering from the worst famine in recorded history? I mean she's LITERALLY a head on a stick. Sheesh, I swear I can see her fucking skull through her face. Hey, Jennifer, Ethiopia called, they wanna lend a hand in helping to feed you. They're sending over those milky porridge and high protein biscuits since you look like you're even more starving than them.

I can't understand what's the appeal of chicks like her. I've nailed a few skin and bones chicks like her, and I always felt like I was boning a wooden plank. As I mentioned before, I came back with bruises all over my body. I mean, I didn't know if I should give her a sandwich rather than giving her my...er...sausage. And when I was fucking her mouth, and I made the mistake of looking down, and I got a flashback of earlier in the week when I was fooling around with the skull in the biology lab, pretending the skull was blowing me. *shudder*

The Elephant Man

I was out drinking with my friends, which two of them are seniors in college, despite them being like 26, due to circumstances beyond their control. Anyways, they were talking about how they try to pick chicks up and school, and is kept meeting with responses like "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....you're like 7 years older than me!" You know what, if you're in the same school, doing the same thing, I don't really think age should be a huge factor. I mean, I saw this couple, the dude looked like he was in his late 20s, chick looked like she was not even 20 yet, and I didn't do anything evil, like following the chick, checking where she lives, and sending a poison pen letter to her parents, or anything like that. I just gave them an evil eye on general principles, and left them alone. No skin off my dick.

Only time age is objectionable to me is when the dude is middle aged, married currently or previously, and keeping a chick half his age. That's when Jun becomes evil. Not only do I look like an elephant, except with a flat nose, I share the never forget quality with them as well. You never know, middle aged man. Might end up in a dark alley alone with Jun, who's laden with evil thoughts. Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Some day...Some day...

In Hair We Trust

I think I mentioned before how much I miss my hair. Well, I saw the funniest thing today when I was waiting for the subway. Saw this balding dude, who grew his hair to his shoulders. Sheesh. And almost bald at the top. Hair on the back and side of his head to his shoulders, almost bald at the top. Should I ever go bald (god forbid should I add another negative mark to my appearance. That should make my ugliness reach astronomic proportions), I'm definitely not gonna make myself a fucking laughingstock by doing a Michael Bolton and growing out what hair I have left. I don't like long hair THAT much, as much as I miss my long hair. I look stupid enough already, anyways.

Left Out In The Cold

Everyone is blogging, except me, with the last post date of Sunday staring at me in the face. Well, I haven't done much really, didn't even think since I got some work that's taking up alot of my attention. Not that it's difficult work, just fucking annoying. Only thing that is of remote interest is that I've just came back from drinking since two in the afternoon, and I don't feel drunk. Only a little sleepy and stupid. Well...I feel stupid most of the time, so not an unusual occurence. Been drinking with that guy who's an asshole to his girlfriend. Apparently right before I got there, they got into a shouting match in the car, parked in the middle of the street. No, let me rephrase that. The asshole was shouting at the chick. And he spent all day on the phone arguing with her. If he wasn't such a close friend, would have told the chick to break up with him, and then get her on the rebound. Oh well. That's what I get for abandoning my efforts to stay sexually amoral, just for a lousy friend.

Oh, and the weather is getting pretty cold here, and when I was coming back, when I blew into the wind, I could see faint steam coming out of my mouth. First time I've seen that in years, living on a tropical island and all that. So was huffing into the wind like the wolf hankering for some pork, and grinning like the village idiot. Sometimes I'm so fucking pathetic, I amaze even myself.