I BE MANLY!

2003-03-05T20:46:00.000+10:00

Tearry Eyed Goodbye

I've finally made my site look almost the same as this as I can. There are minor differences, but I suspect those are caused by the different blogging software. And now, on to some other things that I've got planned.

So here it is, my site.

WWW.JUNHAM.COM is now officially open!

I won't be updating this site anymore. I guess it will stay as an archive of past things, although all the entries has been transferred over to junham.com. After all, it's free!

Now, if I can only figure out how to import the yaccs comments....

2003-03-04T22:21:00.000+10:00

Fare Thee Well

My blog at my site pretty much works now, although I'm not yet through fiddling with it, since I'm not happy with the look. And I do need to do other stuff, like tranferring my image files over and such. I think just like the current blog, I do need to crash and burn a few times and reload everything a couple of times before I start getting the hang of it. Damn css.

And I'm beginning to scare myself. I mean, I downloaded MT for crying out loud. And when I got my cable modem, I found myself downloading and watching ANIME, instead of downloading only porn. Grrrrrrrr. I beginning to act more and more like a geek.

So this is my living will. If I ever even mention about a linux install, please, please, shoot me. If it ever comes to pass, I would already be good as dead, my life would be over. So you would be doing me a favor. Please.

2003-03-03T20:29:00.000+10:00

Best Medicine

I mentioned before that part of my job duties involve being a pseudo-foreman for a construction project. So today, I was visiting the office of our engineering consultant, towards like 5PM. And in the same building, there's apparently a ballet a school, since I saw alot of little tiny girls in ballet tights.

And then today, I saw this one girl, who about came up to my thighs. And oh boy, was she a definition of roly-poly. I mean she looked like she had swallowed a small beach ball. AND wearing the ballet tights. Some people should NOT be wearing tights, or allowing their kids to wear tights.

But still, it was very funny. I haven't laughed like that in several months.

2003-03-02T11:38:00.000+10:00

Children Of The Mind

When I was a kid, I always assumed that I would get married, have 1.6 children, a house with a backyard, a chest full of marital aids...er...so I always thought I would have kids. Then I went to some foreign shore last year, and stayed with my cousin for a few days, who has two little boys. It's an understatement when I say that my whole worldview has changed from my experience with those two monsters. OHMYGOD. I had fight an urge every minute to knock some sense into those two dumbasses. Maybe not all kids are like them, but I really don't want to take that chance, you know.

And come to think of it, say I have a son. And when he's 15, say I find a stack of porno magazines in his room. What the fuck am I gonna say to him, since everyone knows full well that my first porno was viewed when I was in grade school? I don't really like being a fucking hypocrite, you know. And if I have a daughter, what if she brings a boyfriend home who is the exact same fucking bastard that I am? And you KNOW any of my kids would have a raging sex drive. Man, I shudder to think what kind of monsters I would rear.

All this is a moot point, anyways. I need a chick to have kids, and I haven't had a chick in over 5 years. So I think I'm safe for the forseeable future.

2003-03-01T14:30:00.000+10:00

As The Jun Turns

I know I haven't been updating this as regularly as before. And it doesn't mean that I lost interest. In fact, I have even more interest that before. That's why I haven't been updating, busy coming up with plans. There's gonna be a few changes around here. Some of them are still secret, but one thing I can reveal: I've recently acquired the domain names junham.com and ibemanly.com. Naturally. I've already set up hosting and blogging software on junham.com and will fiddle with it over the weekend. The plan is to move the blog over to junham.com and export all my old blogs to there, although I haven't yet decided on whether or not I should update this as well. Well, for now, will just update both with the same things at the same time, then finally put the moose and forwarding links here, and make this my "emergency" blog.

Anyways, gotta run again, but everyone will see me more often soon, hopefully. In any case, I won't be any good to anyone in the next few weeks, since I will be in a very foul mood, tearing my hair out, trying to get the new blog to work the way I want it to work. I think a lot of cursing, kicking, and threatening immediate injury will be involved. We'll see.

2003-02-26T17:43:00.000+10:00

Bitch School

Although I may not be a geek, I am fairly fond of technology. I have used computers since the Apple II and TRS-80 days and loved every minute of it. I also have carried cell phones from the days when a cell phone was as big as an attaché case and weighed like 25 pounds. And we marveled at the technology, how I can make a phone call from anywhere if I lugged that briefcase around.

I now have a Nokia 3360. It’s about as long as my finger. And I loathe it. I guess during the early days of cell phones, it was unusual enough that I felt like a rebel. And even if I’m in my 60s, I would still be a rebel. But now, I’m fucking embarrassed of the thing, I used to always hide the fact that I had a cell phone. Hid it in my pocket, under my shirt, left it in my car, etc. I guess it’s a freedom issue for me, since I view my phone as bondage to my work. If it was an ideal world, then I would only use my phone when I’m going out drinking with my buddies.

But now I’m at a kind of job where my cell phone is essential. At least their paying the airtime charges on my phone. The thing is, the years of partying have turned my brain into mush, so I keep leaving my phone behind. At least I’m alert enough to go back for it after a few minutes. But that embarrasses me more than the cell phone. So I’ve taken to carrying my phone around my neck on a lanyard, like a little kid with his lunch money. Ok so that’s embarrassing too.

Man. I can’t wait until the day I can ditch the fucking phone. But until that day, brain tumor, here I come!

2003-02-25T10:31:00.000+10:00

Toni Basil Blues

There's this chick I've known for a while, about 9 months, I would guess, and we've been talking alot recently. And I'm starting to really like her. I wait everyday, longing to talk to her, and I'm genuinely happy if I DO get a chance to talk. It has become that our conversations have become the high point of my day. But since it's ME who we're talking about it, there are of course a few very large obstacles in the way. Especially there is ONE obstacle that I'm not sure if it can be overcome or not. But you know what, even if that obstacle gets in our way, it's ok with me. I just enjoy chatting with her, and if nothing more comes out of it, then I'm no worse off than I was before. And since we're friends first above anything else, and hopefully that will never change no matter what.

I am slowly learning to enjoy the moment, and not worry about the future until I have to. For now, every moment is precious, and I shall savor it.

2003-02-16T22:58:00.000+10:00

No Rest For The Wicked

I used to hate getting my hair cut. I guess that's why I grew my hair until it reached my waist, until I cut it off last year. But I still hated getting a hair cut. Until two days ago, the day of my last haircut. I have this dreaded J-O-B now that entails me to work 12-14 hour days 6 days a week. Since I was looking a little shaggy, I went to the beauty salon...er...BARBER SHOP! BARBER SHOP! Anyways, went to get my hair cut, and for like 30 minutes, I half-closed my eyes, let my mind wander off, and got totally relaxed. Of course I would never fall asleep in the chair, since I wouldn't know what I'll wake up to. In any event, when I got out of there, I felt oddly refreshed and energized. I say oddly, since after the job, I fully intend to grow my hair again, so I don't want to get used to liking getting my haircut.

On a related note, I was at a hospital waiting room, and I fell asleep so hard that they had to scream in my ear to wake me up. When I nap, I nap HARD.

2003-02-15T13:19:00.000+10:00

Day That Will Live In Infamy

This is my fifth Valentine's Day alone. Fifth CONSECUTIVE Valentine's Day alone. Usually, it doesn't bother me all that much more than say, Christmas. But this year, I was at the previously mentioned construction site, which faces a back of a building. And on the balcony, I saw this couple making out, for like 20 minutes, probably thinking that they got some privacy, since after all, it IS the back of a building. But the thing was, the guy took his time, good for him, but he had like no technique. Just some face pressing. If that place was accessible, I woulda smacked him upside the head, then demonstrate on his chick the proper way of kissing a girl.

But the thing that bothers me the most is that whenever I think I'm at the lowest point, fate finds a way to make it worse, like pouring salt on an open wound. I knew fate hated my guts, but apparently it REALLY hates my guts. I mean, showing a couple making out in front of me is like pouring a glass of ice water in the sand just inches away from a man dying of thirst. If I can ever meet up with this fate asshole, I'm kicking it's ass, I swear.

2003-02-10T17:51:00.000+10:00

Hard Hat And The Scarecrow

I think I mentioned before how part of my job involves being a pseudo-foreman for a particular construction project. And I don't know if anyone has been in the construction industy, but it's HARD work. I mean, I don't do any physical labor, but even I get bone weary when I watch them work for more than 20 minutes. And it's strange, but the more I spend time out there, more I think it will impress women passing by if I whistle and make catcalls at them while grabbing my crotch.

It'll be like a compliment, you know?

2003-02-09T16:43:00.000+10:00

Wishes And Horses

I got a new cable modem. It works great, the overpriced son of a bitch that it is. So I'm happy.

Now if I can only get that plastic surgery and score a chick, I'll be all set.

2003-02-08T17:26:00.000+10:00

Everyone’s A…

Things overheard at last year’s E3.

-My kernel is smaller than your kernel.
-I love my Ellen, but she can be a little cranky when she’s rebooting.
-I’m a virgin, and I’m proud of it!
-0110000110010010110001101100011100
-Bill Gates is the spawn of Satan, and he should burn in hell for all eternity for what’s he’s doing to…oh good morning, Mr. Gates, I LOVE YOU!!! You da man! You da man! *bows down and kisses his feet*
-WHAT? Larna772, my wife at Sims Online, is a GUY?
-Sure I live in my parents’ basement, but I pay rent!
-Why don’t you say hello to my dates, leftie and rightie.
-Of course I don’t download porn with my 3 megabit connection. I got better things to do with…is that Jenna Jameson?
-Linux is REALLY simple to use.
-/me summons a thungarian demon, kills Billy, steals all his mana points.
-What are GIRLS doing here? They don’t belong here, d00d. They’re not 3133t.
-Oh my god, I just shook Chris Pirillo’s hand! I’m never washing my hand ever again!
-No…Yoda can kick Darth Vader’s ass, easy. But no one can beat Wesley Crusher!
-You mean I don’t have to pay for sex?
-Recompile THIS!

2003-02-06T13:02:00.000+10:00

The Good, The Bad, And The Jun

I GETTING A CABLE MODEM!!!!!!! YAY! *Does happy joy dance* I just went and applied for it a few hours ago, and I'm getting it installed hopefully tomorrow or for sure on day after tomorrow. And everyone knows what that means. Gigabytes and gigabytes of new porn on Jun hard drives. I don't have to spend a week downloading a single video from now on. Now, it will take only minutes. Sheesh, I just realized, I probaby need to get another hard drive...either that or a really fast CD burner. Hehehehehehehe.

The bad is the upload is done through the phone line. So I still need that extra line, and I only get 33K upload speed. The download speed is 500k. Not spectacular, but it sure beats dialup anyways. And oh yeah, then there's the price. $110 a month plus $225 for the modem. *Cringe*

2003-02-04T21:28:00.000+10:00

Model Behavior

I swear, if I see one more boy with a Harry Potter haircut and Harry Potter glasses, I’m gonna fucking throttle his mother. What the hell are they thinking, making their kids look like some sorcery nerd-boy? The boy should have better role models than some little loser from a bad Revenge of The Nerds movie. Like the kind of role models I used to have as a kid. Such as John Curtis Estes, Thomas Bryan Taliaferro, Jr., Ron Hyatt, and Gregory Hippolyte Brown. You know, real role models to help boys become MANLY!

2003-02-03T11:56:00.000+10:00

MANLY Not Stupid

I was driving around today, work related, when I saw a sign for Valentine's Day roses on the side of the road. In a GAS STATION. For some reason, this is vaguely disturbing to me. Not that a gas station is selling roses-hey, anything to make a buck, right? The frightening thing is that there are people actually BUYING roses at a gas station. Probably the same guys who buys Christmas presents at the drug store on Christmas Eve.

Now, I am terrible with date. Birthdays, anniversaries... Hell, for the past several years, I've forgotten even my own birthday, much less anyone else's. Just realize a few days later that my birthday had passed by already. But I do remember stuff like Valentine's day and stuff, because after all, it's being pounded into my head anywhere I go. Valentine's Day IS kind of wasted on me though, since I'm too stupid AND unlucky to pull off anything fancy or complicated. I'll just end up fucking it up and looking stupid. So forgoing romance, I usually go for perhaps a bottle of perfume and/or flowers, a dinner, and a few hours of orally servicing the chick.

If I HAVE a chick, of course. See: Unlucky.

2003-02-02T21:13:00.000+10:00

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

The depression is back. With a vengence. Well, it is a good thing in a way, since when I'm depressed, I'm usually not so bleak about things anymore. Just quiet. The despair comes in because I know exactly why I am depressed, but I feel powerless to do anything about it, all with fate hating my guts and all that. She occasionally looks my way, see that I'm not suffering enough, and piles on a little more shit. Ah hell. I've been like this for years now, going in and out of depression. It's nothing new, so I should be able to deal with it.

On that note, I promise my entries from now on would be lighter and funnier. After all, I can't lose all those people dropping in from googling for gay porn now, would I?

2003-02-02T14:22:00.000+10:00

Mission Control

My sincerest and heartfelt condolences to the family and friends of the astronauts in the Shuttle Columbia. I hope they can take comfort in the fact that they knew the inherent risks going in, and that they had died while fulfilling a mission. THEY BE MANLY!

2003-02-01T11:32:00.000+10:00

Day After Tomorrow

Damn. I still haven't found a quick and painless way to die. And that person still doesn't realize that they did anything wrong and is blaming me for insulting them. Heh. Figures.

2003-01-30T21:36:00.000+10:00

End Of The Line

I’m not seething anymore, but I’m still hurt and offended. What hurt me the most, I guess, was the implication that I was boring. While this other person was so fun and interesting so was worth several late nights in a row, I was so boring and sleep-inducing that I wasn’t even worth one hour on a Saturday night. Shit, I wasn’t worth even five fucking minutes of their time until I bitched vehemently about it. And even then, it was so half-hearted and patronizing that I couldn’t stand it.

And the really offensive and insulting part was that it wasn’t even spoken. I remember a blog I wrote last year when I said the biggest way to insult me is to call me boring and uninteresting. And this was even worse. I mean, if I was told I was uninteresting, I would have been hurt, but I wouldn’t have been this angry. But that person was leading me on with words, saying how important I was to that person, while their actions CLEARLY told me that I was so uninteresting and dull that I wasn’t even worth five fucking minutes, while, as I mentioned before, spending like three nights up with this other person. And after all, actions are much more honest that words.

And you know what? If someone thinks I’m that dull, fine. I don’t want anything to do with that kind of a person anyways. I’ll just give my blessing to them and go away quietly and die, or something. It’s ok with me. I got nothing to lose anyways. Never wanted to be so old to be considered boring. So I think I should go away before I become even more useless and pathetic.

Good bye, cruel world.

2003-01-30T08:29:00.000+10:00

So I Said I Never Get Emotional

Just when I was thinking I was finally getting out of my depression, my bad luck strikes again. Someone who I thought was my friend and actually care about me went and stabbed me in the back. Over the weekend, I requested, no, BEGGED ON MY KNEES for a favor. And got refused. And now that person, completely ignoring me, went and did that favor for someone else. Twice. In a row. Not only that, but I don’t know if I’m death-defyingly boring or something, but that person ALWAYS goes to bed at 10 PM sharp when with me, even on weekends, but with spent two nights up to 2 in the fucking morning in a row on weeknights with this other person. The first night, I was just hurt. Now it’s pissing me off. I just thought that person was like that with everyone. Turns out, it was only me who was that somniating. Perfectly willing to stay up all night with anyone else that comes around, except me. I might be desperate and pathetic, but I am not THAT desperate and pathetic. Even someone as desperate and pathetic as me don’t need that kind of a “friend”.

I guess I was wrong thinking that that person was actually a friend. Not even a former friend. Was killing some time until someone better came by. So basically I was used. And I guess that’s that.

Jesus fucking Christ, I soooo want to kill myself right now. Or even worse, cry. I wish I was still living on the 24th floor so I can throw myself out the window or something. I mean, I lived through a lot, but I was never betrayed like this. If I’m not even worth an extra hour on a Saturday night and can be ignored at will, I guess I can just go and die, I guess.

I am so fucking pissed off that I’m shaking, and I’ve been shaking for an hour. And I’m not even horny. It’s THAT serious. Sheesh. Can’t fucking believe I worked for a year and a half for THIS. Being betrayed by someone who I once thought was a very good friend. It was all a big fucking lie, I guess. Or else, there's no other explanation to how I was pushed aside like fucking yesterday's newpaper four days in a row.

So I’m going to bed. Wish I can die in my sleep and not wake up. But with my luck, that will never happen, either. Gonna live forever, being treated like shit from people who I thought were friends, but was just using me as a place card. DAMMIT.

2003-01-28T21:29:00.000+10:00

When Geeks Attack

I can't stand all these geeks making disparaging remarks about the Superbowl. And as a former high school football player, I take great umbrage and offense to that. I mean, what did we ever do to you? Did we ever steal your girlfriend? Did we ever make you look small and pathetic? Did we ever lock you up in your own locker? Did we ever beat you up? Did we ever flush your head in the toilet bowl? Did we ever shave the inner half of each eyebrow off?

Ok. So we did. But so what? It was all in good fun.

And besides, you mention ONE THING wrong with their little Clio or the Linux configuration, and the geeks throw the biggest pansy-ass hissy fit ever. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

2003-01-27T20:35:00.000+10:00

Yellow Bellied Black Snake

Part of my J-O-B entails me supervising some construction work, because my company is building a rather large extension to our facilities in a very tight schedule. And of course, I live on a tropical island. So I've been developing a tan. The problem is, I'm outside in jeans and a shirt, so only my arms and face get tanned. Everywhere else is lily white. Oh, and except for my unit. For some reason, it hardly ever gets out in the sun, but it's tanned too. I said it before, I'm an honorary black man. Heh.

And to make it even worse, one of my friends called me sickly looking when I was without my shirt. Said I looked if I was ill or something. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Soon as I have a couple of days off, I'm hitting the beach and getting an all-over tan. Of course, with my luck, the day I hit the beach will be the day that rains all day.

2003-01-25T20:34:00.000+10:00

Morality Tail

Now I am not the most moral person in the world. In fact, can't say I have much morals, period. But I know this guy who keeps a mistress on the side and his wife one day landed in the ER with a piece of broken off cucumber inside her. Everyone knows I got nothing against keeping a piece or two or three on the side. But that's only when you're satisfying the main partner first. Or if your partner is not providing enough lovin'. Then it's all cool. But I don't understand just why you're married if you're not gonna keep him or her sexually satisfied and in the meantime, fucking someone else. If you're not fucking at all, then ok, it's not optimal but I UNDERSTAND.

Let me just say, the wife caught him in the act at an anonymous phone tip. Serves the bastard right.

2003-01-24T20:56:00.000+10:00

Brain Juice

I don't know what's up, but for some reason, I had this terrible urge to express myself recently. Problem is, I can't think of a single good idea to write about. But I'm sure if I get an idea, I can kick ass with it. Will be the best thing I ever wrote, most likely. Only if I can come up with that one idea.

2003-01-23T21:56:00.000+10:00

Plastic Syndrome

I don't know if this is true or not, since I read it in a sports tabloid. In any event, it had this article about the strange and/or outrageous demands of female superstars who think they're princesses. And of Jennifer Lopez, one of her demands to Ben Affleck was that he sexually satisfy her at least 3 times a week. You know what? Most guys would give their left leg, arm, chest, in fact, whole left side of the body save the relevant parts if they can nail Jennifer Lopez three times a week, even before she can ever demand it. I guess being handsome, rich, and saving the world from nuclear terrorists has its fringe benefits, after all.

2003-01-22T21:34:00.000+10:00

The Magic Dragon

Every morning I open my eyes with a deep longing to die. I don't know what it is about my life, but it makes me feel sad and small. Perhaps it's intense dissatisfaction with my place in this world or a desire to yell a general "do-over". Well, that's not true. I don't want a do-over. I just want it to end. Getting out of bed and getting ready for work is a strenous exercise of self-control.

As the day wears on, it becomes a little bearable. Or I'm too busy to think, and everyone knows, my brain can only handle one train of thought at a time. Nevertheless, whenever I have a spare minute, when I'm driving, taking a break, or so on, I wonder what would be the best way to die. I want something that is quick and painless. And preferably without warning. If I wasn't so chickenshit about pain, I would be talking to my maker or makeress personally, and by now, engaged in deep philosophical discussion on the differences of European porn and Japanese porn. Of course, no self-respecting porn connoisseur would be caught dead with a professionally made American porn.

When I get home, I try to tell myself that it wasn't so bad-that I survived another day. I mean, I can bullshit myself with the best of them. So I smoke my cigarettes, drink my booze, trying to will myself to forget.

Things would be so much easier if I was just a little dumber. I'm not smart enough to get out of this, but I'm just smart enough to realize this pathetic existence I call my life.

Bah. I'm gonna go get drunk. Maybe I'll die tomorrow.

2003-01-03T22:01:00.000+10:00

Resolution, Baby!

1. Get laid.
2. Score a girlfriend.
3. Get laid.
4. Become a multi-billionaire.
5. Get laid.
6. Find the cure for cancer.
7. Get laid.
8. Design a perpetual motion machine.
9. Get laid.
10. Write a Pulitzer Prize-winning novel.
11. And did I mention get laid?

So that's my new year's resolution. I think it's doable. Except for number two. I make that resolution every year, and that always comes back and bites me in the ass. And number 11 ain't no walk in the park, either. But I think if somehow those two things happen, I think the other things on the list will naturally fall into place.

But it will never happen. I have unwavering confidence in that.

2002-12-28T15:43:00.000+10:00

Like A Dog

I'm coming down with a cold, and I haven't been this sick in almost a year. I'm coughing so much that I cough until I puke, like some fucking village moron. How stupid is that? Coughing till you puke. So as I was puking through the open door of my car, I was praying to whatever god out there that's sick enough to watch that that if they made it stop, I would give up smoking I swear. But still, I had to puke all the contents in my stomach, which thankfully was only tea, until I stopped. So I went home, rinsed my mouth out, and lit a smoke.

So I don't keep the promises I make in the midst of my extreme weakness. Sue me.

2002-12-26T17:13:00.000+10:00

Gift Of The Magi

Come this time of year, due to several obvious circumstances, I tend to receive a few gifts from here and there. I don't get much, since I don't believe in presents, so I hardly ever get any. Come to think of it though, I think my most precious gift was received last year. You see, I got a brother who has a disability-Down's Syndrome. And last year, his last day of school was on my birthday, so when I got home in the evening, he gave me a hand-made card made out of notebook paper. Just for the record, it wasn't much to look at. But still, it brought tears to my eyes, and almost made me cried. I would have cried too, if I wasn't so MANLY!

Until this day, when I think of the various gifts I received for any occasion, that notebook paper tops the list. And I still have it somewhere in my closet, folded between pages of a diary. I still pull it out now and then and look at it, reminiscing.

2002-12-25T12:26:00.000+10:00

BAH!

HUMBUG!

2002-12-24T17:51:00.000+10:00

Holiday Spirit

I read once in this serious newsmagazine that the holiday season has the highest suicide rate of all year. Perhaps call me insensitive, but I feel fine every holiday season. I hardly ever get the blues, depression, intense lonliness...not more than normal anyways. There ARE times though when I urgently feel the need to take a long walk off a short pier. And that's honeymoon season. Something about seeing happy couples walking along the beach while holding hands that makes me wanna plow into them with my car. Perhaps it's because I'm living in a tourist destination. I dunno.

And it's not like they speak any English, anyways. If they could, I would try my best to help out the bride set the tone for the rest of the marriage: cheat on hubby everytime his back is turned. I mean, I've helped out a few brides, but not as much as I would like, you know?

2002-12-23T23:12:00.000+10:00

Gnashing Of Teeth

There's this guy at work, pushing 40, short, with thinning hair. And just the other day at the company Christmas luncheon, I saw his wife, and Jesus fucking Christ am I jealous. She's this stunning Russian chick, looks like she's barely out of her 20s. And as I mentioned many times in the past, as soon as I get content to being what I am, an ugly guy alone in front of the pooter, holding his dick, fate finds a way to rub it in my face again.

For a second, I was tempted to apply for a position in Russia. Then reality hit me; I would never even be tenth as lucky, since everyone knows, the chick gotta COMPREHEND what comes out of my mouth for the chick to even find me remotely interesting.

Oh well, the thought was good for the second it lasted. Back to being an ugly guy alone in front of the pooter, holding his dick. It's not so bad, I swear.

2002-12-23T00:54:00.000+10:00

What Goes Around

A couple of days ago, two state senators here were arrested by the FBI for 37 counts of wire fraud, with a third to come soon. Now, I'm not the kind of person who wishes for bad things to happen to other people, save for a very few despicable people, like wifebeaters, rapists, child molesters and lawyers. But this I pray to Baby Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Virgin Mary, Kitchen God, and to whatever gods out there. I just hope that these fuckers get 5 to 10 at a maximum security federal penitentiary. I don't ask for anything longer. Not only that, but for them to get a 350 pound, tattoed cellmate, who's been there for a long, long time, with even longer to go, looking for some new blood to fuck at least two, three times a wish. If I can just get that, I would die happy.

2002-12-11T19:56:00.000+10:00

Short Attention Span Theater

Looks like updates to my blog will be few and far between until a couple of weeks later. I'm not getting my own computer at work until next week, and by the time I come back home, I'm bushed, with an attention span of a four year old on acid and a sugar buzz, with a caffeine jolt on the side. Which is even made worse, since tomorrow, I got this boring ass luncheon I need to attend. Three to four hours long, surrounded by a bunch of balding, pot-bellied, middle aged man.

I just hope that there's some pretty waitresses that I can work on. It's not often that I'm the least repulsive guy in the group, so I gotta effectively use whenever opportunities such as these arise.

2002-12-09T20:10:00.000+10:00

The Mask Of Cameron

I recently had a chance to watch The Mask again, and was amazed at how hot Cameron Diaz looked back then, compared to now. Before her jaw rescupturing and nose job, she was actually cute, and had an honest-to-god figure. Now she's just another head on a stick, cashing in on the name she had built.

Well, at least she has the guts to appear in films without makeup, looking comparatively bad.

2002-12-07T17:03:00.000+10:00

Being Jun XII

Wake up. Work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work. Sleep.

2002-12-04T22:17:00.000+10:00

The Casting Couch

With the passing away of acclaimed actor Richard Harris a few weeks back, he left behind a legacy of work, and like most great artists, unfinished work, leaving one of the most coveted roles in recent memory. That is, of course, Professor Dumbledore of Harry Potter. So now, the third movie needs a replacement. I don't know who they announced, but sometimes I get these ideas in my head that turns out to be prophetic. Submitted for you approval, here's my list of possible replacements.

1. Ian McKellen. Of course, a no brainer. Rumor has it that he turned down this role for Gandalf. And they're bound to ask him again, and since the principle photography is done, and they can work around his commitment to X-Men 2, he has a very high chance that he might play the role. And I don't think he has any troubles with his health, since he's managing to keep a boyfriend a third his age. I have this strong suspicion that he plays the bottom on THAT relationship.

2. The next strongest contender I think is Tom Wilkinson. The guy who played the middle aged laid off executive in The Full Monty and Lord Cornwallis in The Patriot. And why not? They've already cast Jason Isaacs. Sort of like a Patriot reunion.

3. Another hopeful, I think, is Jonathan Pryce. The Infiniti guy. I loved his performance in Brazil, one of the best science fiction movies out there. He's nice and old now, and British. If the Equal Employment Opportunity Commision got a hold of the casting company for the Harry Potter movies, the fines would be higher than the budget for the series.

4. My favorite though is Christopher Plummer. He deserves it, I think. He's the guy who played Baron Von Trapp in Sound Of Music, for the two people in the world who never saw that movie. Even I saw it twice, and I BE MANLY!, thus staying away from musicals almost as much as I stay away from guy's asses. And since in the third movie, Dumbledore got some parts where he has to be a little formidable, so who better that a guy who can do formidable while hopped up on painkillers and downing half a bottle of booze, without any sleep for two weeks? And then there's this sneaking suspicion I got that Dumbledore is in league with Voldemort, the guy actually controlling him...so it needs a guy who can play a good villain, as well as a good actor.

5: Other possibles: Albert Finney, Ian Holm, Sean Connery, Anthony Hopkins, Michael Caine, any other old British actor...

Conclusion: I think, although Christopher Plummer deserves it the most, if Ian McKellen turns it down, then Tom Wilkinson will get it. Although I think Albert Finney might have an outside chance of getting the role. But with that said, I still want Christopher Plummer or Jonathan Pryce to score a juicy role for a change.

2002-12-03T12:52:00.000+10:00

Feverish Nightmare

Everyone knows that I don't like talking about my dreams. I don't mind and even enjoy hearing other peoples' dreams, but I think ME telling about what I dreamt about is trite and uninteresting. With that said, I had this odd dream last night-a dream I have occasionally. I dreamt that I was in school, and I had a girlfriend. A girlfriend that looked a little like Uma Thurman, only with dark hair. Oh, and without the body that looks like she just had a 10 year trip to Ethiopia. The odd thing was that it was so realistic, down to the messiness of my dorm room. And I woke up with a deep sense of longing. How sad and pathetic is that, huh? As I mentioned above, I've had these kinds of dreams before, although not as realistic, and I'll be fine in a little while.

Just when I thought I turned a corner, it pulls me back in. Hope since now I have a J-O-B, it will distract me until it doesn't matter anymore.

2002-12-02T14:53:00.000+10:00

5,000 Miles To Graceland

So after three months abroad, I'm finally home. And it wasn't a total loss, really. I haven't done much of anything, but I got enough blog topics to last me a few more weeks, and I learned a couple of things about myself while I was there, as well. So I think in a long, long time, I'm finally coming back to who I was a few months ago. I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, but at least it helps me to survive. Anyways, since I'm on the ground floor now, there's no temptation.

Only thing I hate about coming back is the slow ass dialup connection. GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Pisses me off when a page takes like 5 minutes to load. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Oh, that, and I got a J-O-B. *shudder*

2002-11-30T00:38:00.000+10:00

Being Jun XI

Last week when I had my goatee, I used to look like someone who can kick your ass if you looked at me the wrong way. Or at least caused major damage to the establishment. I was treated sooooooooooooo well. Now that I've shaved it off, I just ended up looking like an ugly fat guy. Oh well.

2002-11-29T16:51:00.000+10:00

Certain Point Of View

If you have a dirty mind like me, then everything DOES seem sex-related. But occasionally, there are things that would make everyone think about sex. There's this bidet commercial, for example, where a chick and a dude is really happy, almost orgasmic, the chick is in fact, while riding a wave of water. And if that wasn't enough, the chick is moaning the name of the product at the final seconds. And the name of the product? Loo Loo. And since I've witness the strength of the jet of water emitting from these bidets, I think no one would have any trouble guessing how a woman can be orgasmic while sitting on this. Then there's this other commercial, where a young couple is sitting on a bed, when the chick asks the dude if she can touch it. Ad the dude asks if she washed her hands, and she proceeds to use the product advertised, a waterless hand cleanser. Then she touches the guy's IT. His face. Talk about anticlimactic.

But the most suggestive one is when I saw this hot actress/model on a comedy variety show, appearing as a guest. And as part of the routine, she moves a small radish back and forth over her teeth, through her open mouth. Now what would YOU think if you see a hot chick wrapping her lips around a plump tubular thing with a round tip and moving it in and out of her mouth? Of course, there's no question about it.

2002-11-27T17:32:00.000+10:00

Morality Tail

At this message board I hang out, there was this discussion about online flirting and cyber sex. I don't know if it's just me, but I don't really think that cybersex is cheating. I mean, when you bring it down to its essence, it's basically fiction that features two characters based on the participants of the chat. I mean, no matter how good of a writer you are, there's no way you can totally represent yourself online. So what ends up is a character. Let's look at this another way. If cybersex is cheating, then so is going to a romantic movie and fantasizing that one of the character is you. And anyways, without an active fantasy life, your sex life will be dead-stangnant. There will be no progress, no natural evolution, and you would be doing the same things over and over again. So having a good fantasy now and then is essential to a healthy relationship.

And it's not like anything that goes online will become real life, unless both parties wanted it to. I mean, if someone starts stalking you after cybering online, starts hanging around you trying to get some in real life, then that person is a freakoid and you shouldn't be hanging around that person in any event, much less cybering. If both parties know that it's only fantasy unless both of you are free to persue something in real life, then it's really not cheating.

But then again, I can't really claim that I'm right, since I also think that sleeping with other people is not cheating when the significant other is informed beforehand. When it comes to sex, I'm completely amoral. I would think that a couple of my friends would agree to that as well.

2002-11-27T04:17:00.000+10:00

Righting The Wrong, Blaming The Wicked

I'm sick and tired of watching all these ads about how smoking causes lost productivity in the workplace. Unless your job involves long-distance running of some sort, it's not the SMOKING that decreases efficiency in the office. It's the having to walk outside in all kinds of weather, even if you happen to work on the 75th floor, that causes the loss of productivity. I mean, if we can smoke at our desks without the need to spend 20 minutes walking outside for a smoke, there wouldn't be any lost productivity, would there?

So you know who's fault it really is? Everyone has a person like this at their work. It's that one person who moans and whines at the slightest inconvenience. You know, the kind of person who desperately needed a few dozen ass-kickings in school but never got any. The kind of person who's nasally whines causes stress ulcers and brain embolisms.

If you don't have that whiny person at your work, then YOU'RE him. Or her.

2002-11-26T12:15:00.000+10:00

Being Jun X

Not dead yet. Damn.

2002-11-26T04:45:00.000+10:00

Looking Out The 23rd Floor Window

When I die and if not mourned, have I really lived?

2002-11-25T18:29:00.000+10:00

Elderly Delinquent

Normally, when a bunch of young punks walk past you, their hair all dyed in colors not found in nature, you get a little apprehensive. Here, you get apprehensive when a bunch of white-haired old men walks by. They're the ones that start drinking right after lunch, they're the ones that have nothing to lose, they're the ones who treat police officers as if they were a snot nosed grandkid. Which they might actually be. And since most of the patrolmen are first year rookies, the old men here have no fear of the police. They're louder than any police officer, and here, being louder in an argument means you are winning that argument. To top it all off, they usually hang out in gangs, loud and boisterous, cursing someone out if you happen to step on their shadow, or something.

Being ugly has it's advantages, after all. No one thinks I would be walking around with the face I have if I got enough cash to get it fixed, so I'm pretty much left alone by everyone. But still, I am very circumspect when dealing with these old punks. Aside from the pain issue, it's fucking embarassing if I tell people that I got rolled by a bunch of 80 year old men, you know. In one way it's sad that the elderly of the nation has nothing to do so they gotta turn to petty crimes for kicks. I feel sorry for them, and anger and the society which degrades these good people who once had potential to a bunch of vandals and gangbangers.

Doesn't stop me from crossing the street and going in the other way when a gang of old men comes my way, though.

2002-11-23T18:43:00.000+10:00

Insecurities And Exchange Commission

Occasionally, when I talk to some people online, they express insecurites about their appearance. Often times, the word sagging comes up in relation to certain body parts, as well as fat, cellulite, flab, etc. The thing is though, that's usually what makes a woman SEXY, unless you're the Wicked Witch Of The West, or something. I mean, I find myself getting off to amateur porn than to glossy professional porn, where the women have more plastic and artificial parts in them than the International Space Station, and got more makeup on their face that a Kabuki actor. Porn is about fantasy, but I was never into unrealistic fantasies. I like fantasies that can happen. And unless I suddenly get struck by lightning, rearranging the components of my face and body to make me look similar to say, Josh Hartnett, and become an instant movie star, I will never get to fuck a Barbie doll looking chick. Not that I want to in the first place. I like my women, even in porn, to look like someone I would fuck. Not someone who I would put in a glass cage and admire, afraid of bursting a saline pouch.

So women, be proud of how you look like, be proud of every imperfection, since that's what turns men on. And if any dude who doesn't get turned on by that needs to grow up by about 15 years. After all, I wanted to fuck a Barbie doll when I was first watching porn way back in grade school, and those dumb fucks don't deserve such a hot and sexy woman like you. Real men likes REAL women, not fake ones in picture shows.

2002-11-23T11:38:00.000+10:00

Being Jun IX

The fall weather hear makes the air smell like a wet vagina. That is all.

2002-11-22T15:31:00.000+10:00

Bitches' Brew

The people here have the strangest drinks. If you go to the nearest convenience store and browse the refrigerator, they got like hundreds of different kinds of beverages. One I tried the other day was this weird thing made out of aloevera. It smelled like a lotion. I mean, it smells good when you think you're gonna put it on your face, but it's kinda repulsive when you're considering pouring it down your gullet. But still, since I BE MANLY!, I drank it down. And you know what, it doesn't taste half bad, if you get past the cosmetic smell. It's grape juice based, and the little bits of aloe floating around kinda has the texture of coconut jelly. And it's good for you; a healthy drink. And you know I would do almost anything if it was healthy.

It's really tasted good though, when I mixed a little vodka and 7-up in it. Chased down by a couple of cigarettes. Yum.

2002-11-20T14:54:00.000+10:00

Giving Up

A few days ago, I did something I haven't done in over 10 years. I cried. And to make things even more pathetic, I cried in the shower. How pathetic is that? But I did come to a realization, so I guess that's something, at least. I concluded that I don't like what I've become. And even more than that, I'm going to die so I should be ready to die at all times. It might be next hour, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year, next 10 years, or whatever. But I'm going to die, sooner or later. And when I die, I don't wanna have any major regrets.

So fuck being unhappy. Fuck my quest for my ideal chick. Fuck it if I have to live the rest of my life alone. I've did it for the past five years, I can do it some more. It's not a big deal, you know. I'm gonna die tomorrow, after all. So I'm going back to the Jun I was before and gonna live without thinking about the future. I just don't care, and I don't wanna care. I'm gonna die tomorrow anyways. And this time around, I think it's easier. I'll just wait and see.

And to prove my new resolve, I'm shaving my goatee off. Fuck it if I don't have anything to distract away from my face. I don't care.

I'm leaving the sideburns alone, though. I still got a little pride left, after all, no matter how much it's been ripped apart and shredded.

This is Jun, signing off.

2002-11-20T00:50:00.000+10:00

Shameless Rip-off

I heard this story on TV the other day, and I had to share it, since it made me laugh so hard. I came up with the moral.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I went on an out-of-town business trip with my co-worker, Bob, who also happens to be one of my best friends. We come back to the hotel room we were sharing, and since Bob is a big baseball fan and wanted to catch the end of the game on TV, I took a shower first. Bob went in for his shower a little bit after me, having watched the end of the game, and I was flipping through the channels when I hear this blood curdling scream from the bathroom, followed by a loud thump. Worried, I run to the bathroom door and pound on it, asking if he was alright. I hear groaning inside, Bob saying that he was alright, that I shouldn't come in. After asking repeatedly if he was ok, I come back to bed, still worried about Bob. 10 or 15 minutes later, Bob steps out of the bathroom, his face as white as a ghost and a cold sweat running down all over him. He falls face first into the bed, still groaning, not answering me when asked what had happened. After much goading, he told me, finally.

He grabbed the soap while taking a shower, and being these tiny hotel soaps, he dropped it. When he bent down to pick it up, the spigot, which was a thin-old fashioned copper fixture, had hit his ass, and went in a little. Hence the screaming. And of course, I laughed my ass off, when I heard that.

The moral of this story? Beware of strange spigots in strange bathrooms.

2002-11-18T16:39:00.000+10:00

Being Jun VIII

I'm so ugly, oh so ugly, so ugly and surly and sad....

2002-11-18T02:54:00.000+10:00

Joe Q. Instant

I've been drinking alot of instant coffee lately, since I'm moving around alot, and I can't carry a coffee maker with me. And anyways, a cup of brewed coffee at a coffee shop costs upwards of three bucks. And that's for eight ounces. What a fucking rip-off. And if you don't have any choice, instant coffee with some sugar and non-dairy creamer is not half bad. It's not good, but at least it's coffee. So when waiting for the water to boil, I tend to read labels on the bottles. And I've noticed that on coffee bottles, they always tell you to put in more coffee, while on non-dairy creamer bottles, they tell you to put double to triple the amount of creamer than coffee or sugar, in a bid to sell more of their products, apparently. But notice that on sugar, there's usally no such directions, because after all, they cornered the sugar market. I mean, a world without sugar is like sex without alcohol. It can be done, but it's just not right, you know?

2002-11-15T17:30:00.000+10:00

Big Hair, Scary Face

I just watched Christina Aguilera's new video and can she look less like a emaciated crack whore loitering in a dark alley, or what? I mean, although whores DO turn me on, this IS a bit too much, you know. Oh well. At least she doesn't look like Dee Snider anymore.

2002-11-14T13:12:00.000+10:00

Being Jun VII

I got pissed drunk last night again, but since I came back home early, aside from waking up from extreme thirst and headache at 5AM, I'm feeling remarkably chipper. And there was one good result from the hard drinking last night. I got medical confirmation that I BE MANLY!

More or less.

2002-11-13T14:26:00.000+10:00

Unnewsworthy

Iraqi parliament unanimously voted to oppose the weapons inspection. However, they had also voted unanimously to delgate the final decision to Saddam Hussein

Is this really news? I would like to make a few observations based on this little tidbit. You can make up your own jokes if you like.

1. Politicians are the same everywhere. They have instinctive abilities to cover their asses. And this is probably the finest hour in history of covering your ass.

2. I wonder how the parliamentary elections are like. Are they single candidates on the ballots? Or is the campaign pledge something like: "I will fight for your right to blindly support Saddam Hussein", or "I will bring back to my constituents TWO piles of rubble instead of just one."

3. What's the use of an Iraqi parliament? They got money to burn in that goverment?

4. Was the outcome really contested at all? Wasn't the ending the same as the ending to a porno movie?

5. And finally, boy, the Iraqi sure likes those unanimous outcomes in every vote, huh? I bet the class president is elected unanimously, too.

2002-11-12T17:33:00.000+10:00

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

On this place I like to frequent, I keep saying that I will be 13 years old come next birthday. Now, that might be true or not, but one thing I'm sure of is that there is not that much difference between me now and me when I was 13. I would think it would go for most of the men out there as well. I mean, come on, let's face it, I like shiny things, battery powered toys, certain cartoons, playing with myself, AND think that the naked female body is a wonder of the universe. It's just that now I'm an adult so I can do certain things without too much interference since they're considered as hobbies and quirks and eccentricities, instead of being a weirdo.

Well, ok, I'm still a weirdo. But that's beside the point.

2002-11-11T16:50:00.000+10:00

On The Inside

I got a new notebook last month, and from then on I started writing my blog ideas in it.

Here's a pic of the ideas that I haven't used yet.

And here's a picture of ideas that I already blogged about.

And I'm posting the pics of the inside of my notebook, and I'm not scared that someone might steal my ideas. After all, my handwriting is so bad, it looks like someone inked up a couple of worms and let it loose on the pages, so no one except me will be able to read it anyways. And you're REALLY desperate if you're stealing ideas from ME, anyways.

Oh, and did anyone notice that I have a new haircut?

2002-11-10T20:45:00.000+10:00

Further Reflections

I drank till 4 with my friends, spent unfruitfully on trying to pick up chicks. I tried twice without success, and with great embarassment. I don't wanna elaborate further. And the worst part is that I couldn't get drunk, no matter how much I tried. I mean, if I could at least get inebriated, that would at least dull my shame. But I was ashamed and sober. Bad combination.

One good thing, though. I found a place with a mirror that from a distance, I look vaguely human. I think it's the curvature of the glass. I need to get me a mirror like that at once. Will do wonders for my morale.

2002-11-09T17:34:00.000+10:00

Being Jun VI

You know what, drinking till 4 in the morning at my age isn't that beneficial to my health.

2002-11-08T17:24:00.000+10:00

The New Pollution

Although porn is illegal here, they DO show some movies that proclaim themselves to be erotic. Usually it involves alot of clothed people rubbing each other and moaning, and very occasionally showing a nipple, or a butt cheek, or top third of a buttcrack. Crotch shots? Full frontal nudity? Forget about it. However there's something even better than a Friday night Cinemax movie: underwear commercials on home shopping networks. It's like watching a Victoria's Secret catalog live on TV, except the models aren't as hot and the cut of the underwear more chaste. But still, since you gotta SELL these things, there's alot of closeups and such on the parts where the underwear covers. And I've discovered that some of these things were so sheer that you can see right through them.

And the beauty of this is that since it's a commercial aired on basic cable and home shopping networks, and not adult material, they show it at all times during the day. I've seen them late at night of course, and also during the afternoon when they're showing kiddie shows on other channels, just flip one channel, and there's scantily clad women walking around. Suffice to say, whenever I feel a little frisky, I turn on the TV. Hehehehehe.

2002-11-07T14:39:00.000+10:00

In My Dreams

Just recently, I've added to link to a blog by my friend Karlin. Now I'm really surprised how easily I can relate to her, and how much we're alike. Well, aside from the sexual incompatiblity issue of me being a being pervert, and her liking sex, but more straight. And then there's the minor difference that she's a vegetarian and I'm a devout flesh eater. Oh, also she likes to exercise and I like to resemble a vegetable. Then there's also the bit about her waking up before sunrise, and me being grumpy if I have to wake up before noon. Hmmm..then there's the fact that she is beautiful as well as having a great body, and me being uglier than fuck with a body like a sack of potatoes. Also, she's smart as hell, while I'm dumb as this post.

Aside from those few minor difference, I think we're really alike. I mean, if she lived closer to me and wasn't married, she would be turning me down many, many times. Yup. Now go to her blog and tell her how much she and Jun are alike.

2002-11-05T14:11:00.000+10:00

Being Jun V

I wanna be the kind of pervert who's well-respected by his peers. As well as being a well-rounded pervert.

2002-11-04T14:38:00.000+10:00

On The Way To The 20th Century

Recently, a Chinese university published what is equivalent here as the Kinsey Report. And I had a chance to look it over, since I am interested in that sort of things, and have run across a couple of interesting little factoids.

1. 19.4% of married women in their 30s and 5.5% in their 40s in China answered that they currently have extra-marital sex with multiple partners Wow. You go, girlfriend!

But the suprising thing is:

2. 72.2% of the males and 46.2% of the females answered they had premarital sex. Among them, 45.8% of men and 17.7% of the women says that they currently have multiple sex partners. Let's take a look at the numbers here. According to these figures, for every chick having sex, there's two dudes boinking her. Either that, or the the abovementioned married chicks are fucking the excess guys. Either way, man, is that a good country or what. I'm envious here...shit I wish things were like that where I live.

Either that, or the guys who answered the poll are doing what guys are famous for doing: Exercising their skills at hyperbole. In other words, lying through their teeth.

2002-11-03T00:25:00.000+10:00

Being Jun IV

While other people are wearing thick, thick jackets and scarves and thermal underwear or what not, I''m really comfortable wearing just a pair jeans and a long sleeved botton down cotton shirt. Maybe it's because I'm so hot. Or is it because I'm such a cool guy?

2002-11-02T12:11:00.000+10:00

Being Jun III

And delusion belongs to which state?

2002-11-01T19:17:00.000+10:00

Mostly Useless

I was riding the subway yesterday, when I saw this dude on a wheelchair getting down from the stairs. And he had to call the station attendant to work the wheelchair lift. What's the use of placing a lift there if you have to call someone to use it? Doesn't that defeat the purpose already? And to make matters worse, of all the stations I observed, only like half of the newest stations have elevators, and the older stations have to use lifts, which are very rare to begin with. The worst thing is that most of the lifts seem to be broken. And there are so much stairs on the stations too, like a stairway every 10 feet or something. It's a crying shame really. Just a waste of time and money for everyone concerned. The subway authority should either try harder to make the stations more accessible to the handicapped, or they should just say fuck you to all of them. At least then they would be honest about it, and not look like only paying lip service.

2002-10-31T15:34:00.000+10:00

Ode To Joy

American and British scientists have figured out a way to transmit sensations through the internet, and had "shaken hands" across the Atlantic Ocean. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. COOLNESS! HAHAHAHAHAHA. Man, there's so much potential in this technology. HAHAHAHAHA. HEEHEEHEE. This is the best invention since sixty-nine. HEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Man, just the thought of it is making me giddy. HEEHEEHEE. THE. BEST. INVENTION. EVER! Hehehehehe.

2002-10-30T12:31:00.000+10:00

Being Jun II

Why am I so MANLY?

2002-10-29T17:56:00.000+10:00

Point Of Entry

Since I put my email address up on my blog, aside from the spam bots, I get an email now and then from people stumbling on to the page. And minus the outraged remarks that I get listed so high on searches for naked pics of Avril Lavigne, the general theme is :what is the point of my entries? Well, I don't really have any points here. I'm just writing thoughts and stuff that I see that makes me laugh. And that's my biggest failing, really. I just want the world to be funny.

2002-10-28T13:58:00.000+10:00

Being Jun

Is it just me, or does alcohol and cigarettes taste alot better when the weather is cold?

2002-10-28T00:54:00.000+10:00

Pork Barrel

I was taking the subway yesterday, going to go meet some buddies of mine for another night of two-fisted drinking. And there must have been a mosque nearby where I got off the train, since on the way to the exit, I ran across several groups of Muslim looking people. I mean, there's not that many Muslims her so I would think that they were tourists or something if they were together, but there were not. Anyways, that made me think if I can deal with being a Muslim, aside from the absurdity I feel from the idea of the religious racket as a whole.

And I decided I can live without pork. Except sausages. I need my sausage fix. And then there's the whole roasted suckling pig. Gotta have those. And I can't live without the occasional barbecued ribs, and who can turn down some pork chops with mint sauce? And a trip to a Chinese restaurant isn't complete without an order of sweet and sour pork. Then I need to have some bacon occasionally in the morning. Not that I particularly like bacon, but it's almost a tradition, you know? Aside from those exceptions, I decided I can live without pork. It's the alcohol that I can't live without. Alcohol is man's best friend, after all. I don't drink often, but when I drink...woo-hoo! As I mentioned before, two of my friends and I finished off two kegs of beer in one night.

Hmmm. Alot like last night. Although there were 5 of us last night, and we were the only ones in the bar, but I distinctly remember the bartender changing the kegs twice. They don't make the kegs like they used to, don't they?

2002-10-25T16:43:00.000+10:00

Take Me Out To The...

As with a billion other people, I watch the World Series. But why is it that during sporting events, especially baseball, I keep falling asleep? I mean, I BE MANLY! I shoud be following the game like a hungry wolf following a herd of rabbits. Instead, as soon as the game is on, it's like someone forcefed me a bottle of percodan or hit my head with a sledgehammer-I get knocked out like a log. Not very MANLY at all. And I can honestly say I slept through alot of important sporting events, like Barry Bonds' record breaking home run, Dale Earnheardt's fatal crash, John Elway's first Superbowl win, day Cal Ripken broke the consecutive days record, etc.

2002-10-24T19:17:00.000+10:00

Rescue Me

I guess it's my fault that I'm currently in one of the most crowded cities in the world. Like I went to the bookstore the other day, and it was so crowded, I had to stand still most of the time. Except when I went to the English section. THAT was empty. But other sections, it was like riding the subway at rush hour. Packed like sardines in a can, browsing only the items that is like around a five feet radius of me, even though I ended up in the pregnancy and child care section. *shudder*

And speaking about subways, what is it with these stupid fucks who INSISTS on going out on a holiday? I mean last holiday I was going to go meet some buddies, to catch a movie then perhaps a drink or two or twenty, and the subway was fucking crowded. Why can't they stay home and rest on a day off like normal people? Why are they crawling out from under whatever rocks and crowding up the subway and the streets when I'm trying to enjoy spending some time with my friends on a holiday? Some people are SO inconsiderate.

2002-10-24T01:58:00.000+10:00

Medium Rare

You know what, getting the notebook was a great idea. The one good idea I had in years, among the plethora of bad ideas. (Can we say, wrong hole?) I already have like 4 pages of blog ideas in like less than a week, about 15 until now. And probably one out of those 15 might be a good entry, if I'm lucky. And I think the quality has slightly been improved. I mentioned before that I'm my biggest fan, it's not rare when I walk around and giggle to myself like the town idiot because I had a funny idea. Now I write it down and give it the 24 hour test. If after 24 hours it still seems like a good blog idea, then I blog.

Of course, since I love my writing so much, it's not that big an accomplishment in the first place.

2002-10-22T18:52:00.000+10:00

Broken Promises

So I don't keep promises to myself. Big fucking deal.

It's been kinda cold recently, which don't bother me that much, since I'm such a cool guy. (Yes, I'm still delusional, always has been, always will be. Get over it.) Apparently a cold front has moved down from the artic, and the windchill is around freezing now. According to the weathergirl, who was dressed nattily in a red leather jacket last night by the way (I'm a big fan), it's like 5 degrees colder than average of this time of year. Just my luck, huh? First storms, then abnormally cold temperatures. I swear I bring catastrophes along with me.

I don't want anyone who reads this for the first time, especially the fellow perverts who found this place from googling for naked pics of Avril Lavigne, that this is either a photo blog or that I only talk about the fucking weather. So gonna share something I heard today that made me happy. Someone today told me that my goatee made me look like a cartoon character. YAY! Finally!!!! A compliment about my appearance! Hehehehe, first time in my life, baby.

2002-10-21T19:21:00.000+10:00

Title Of Record

Recently I've been thinking my title isn't unique enough. I mean, I totally get my ass kicked by this fucking town in Australia called Manly, and it's not like my blog is the only one that has manly in the title. I mean, like my friend Miel, her blog kicks everyone's ass, since her title is Detritus, a very orginal and creative and unique title. Something my brain would never fucking come up with if someone stuck detritus up my ass. What the fuck is detritus, anyways? I know, I know, I'm a fucking moron. Tell me something I don't know, genius. Hmmm, back to the point, if you google Detritus, Miel's blog comes up top, while I'm delegated to like the 700th page when you google manly.

There are ways to jack up my google rank, you know. I just gotta pimp my blog and put up links on every other page I can find. Especially on popular pages. But then again, I don't want too high a rank in the first place. I get enough weird referrals already, as seen on the "Referral of the Day" link. I seem to get a lot of search referrals for naked pics of Avril Lavigne, recently. Sickos. She's only 17! I would wait a year before searching for naked pics of her. That's the decent thing to do. Anyways, I just wanna rank high enough to boost my ego up a little without attracting TOO much sick motherfuckers.

After all there's the rule, only one sick motherfucker per blog. And I'm sick enough a motherfucker to fill 5 blogs, let alone mine.

2002-10-20T18:11:00.000+10:00

Habit Forming

I took some pics of my goatee.

And I swear, I'm not going to replace my entries with photos. I'm just getting some undue influences from my honey, since she posts alot of pics, and it looks good. She IS very inspirational to me, after all. And since I LOVE my own writing, cracking myself up, most likely the only person I amuse with my blog, so I should be apologizing to myself. I'm sorry, Jun. I shall promise myself this will be the last photo entry for a while. I promise. Really.

2002-10-19T21:24:00.000+10:00

All Filler, No Killer

Since the next entry is planned to be photos too, and since I don't want this to turn into a fucking photo journal, lemme tell you about something I saw today. I was walking in the street when I spied a store called "Hustler" across the street. And you know me, when I see HUSTLER, I immediately think of Larry Flynt's mag, the pinnacle of artistic excellence. With a big shit eating grin on my face, I wanted to cross the street to check it out, when I saw that instead of selling magazines of chicks shyly spreading themselves, it was a outdoor clothing and equipment store. Sheesh. That's almost like those Japanese chicks who proudly wear those T-shirts with "COCKSUCKER" printed in big letters in the front. They kinda have a double meaning, you dumbass.

Come to think of it, that's the kind of chick that catches my eye, those dumb enough to be easily persuaded to do...stuff.

2002-10-18T19:02:00.000+10:00

Revelry

I'm not fucking around here.

Give us freedom or give us death! We're people too, dammit!

2002-10-17T18:50:00.000+10:00

Told You So

See? I haven't killed all my brain cells yet.

And if I don't manage to score a girlfriend soon, I need to take up a hobby or something. I spent a couple of hours this afternoon amusing myself by avidly watching the railway workers build a new train station and railroad a few hundred feet from my apartment. Maybe I need to start collecting stamps or newspaper clippings or rocks or something.

2002-10-16T16:59:00.000+10:00

Fight! For Your Right!

Past couple of days, I've been getting much complaints from people about my smoking. One person even threatened that I would never go down on her if I continued smoking. That is soooo cruel. Like a Hobson's choice. You know, I don't have that addictive a personality. When it doesn't feel good, I quit. I'm only addicted to ONE thing. But the thing is, I enjoy smoking. Almost as much as that ONE THING. And those silly non-smoking ads do nothing but to give me the urge to light up. And you know, if it started not feeling good, I would quit like tomorrow without any qualms about it.

And while I'm on the topic of smoking, I'm sick of being herded into a closet, being chased outside in a blizzard, being treated like a rabid dog waiting for the .22 in the temple. I mean, doesn't it remind you of something? Maybe the Deep South in the 50s, being herded into the back of the bus? I mean, not comparing myself to them, but this IS a clear case of segregation, you know? If any other group of people are treated like smokers, there would be hell to pay. Fucking health nazis. It's about time that we smokers unite, and fight for the right to light up whenever and wherever the fuck we want. I mean, in California and New York, it's illegal to smoke in bars, and in certain sections of Tokyo, it's illegal to smoke in the street. Yes, the street. Go catch some fucking drug users, and leave us the fuck alone, dammit. The rate this is going, we gotta row out to international waters before we can light up. Motherfucking health nazis.

*Lights a Marlboro*

2002-10-15T22:11:00.000+10:00

Exception To The Rule

A few nights ago, I went to a pretty cool jazz bar. They had this jazz band there, and the drummer RULED. They had a pretty decent piano player, singer, some old, bored saxophone guy, and then this one guy playing a stand-up bass. And he SUCKED. He looked liked he played the bass for a month, or something, and the band was really hurting for a stand-up bass player. But then again, he was the only one who really sucked there, so can't complain.

Anyways, I was sitting there, drinking a bottle of wine, totally mesmerized by the drummer. I mean, I played a little drums before. Well, I played guitar, bass guitar, and drums, all very badly. I figured if I was gonna suck, then better suck at as many instruments as I can. When I look at other drummers at club bands, I can pretty much say with great confidence, that if I had a bit of time to practice, maybe a week or two, I can play the songs that they're playing. But when I looked at this jazz drummer, I was completely lost. He looked like he had the whole rhythm scheme mapped out in his head, and was improvisizing from that. If I played for like 10 hours a day, for a year, then MAYBE I can imitate him a little. And you know what, I would fuck him, yes fuck him, if doing that would make me half as good as him from the act of fucking.

I mean, as I sat there watching, I had this impression that he was Yoda from Attack of The Clones, and I was a federation droid. Or baby Anakin from Phantom Menace.

2002-10-14T01:51:00.000+10:00

Brain Freeze

You know, right before I went to bed last couple of nights, I had great ideas upon which to blog about. Funny, witty, clever, yet thought provoking. Yes, clear opposite from my previous entries. And here I sit, facing the screen, and I can't think of a single idea. The one idea that pops to mind, about my facial hair, sounds SO lame. I think the older I get, the more addle-headed I am. I mean, just a couple of years ago, when I was still a teenager, I can think of something, and I wouldn't be able to forget it, no matter how hard I try. Nowadays, I think of something, think it's really good so I must remember it so I can use it later, then forget it a few minutes later. I swear, I NEED to buy a small notebook and carry it around so I can write my ideas down.

If I can fucking remember to buy the fucking notebook, that is.

2002-10-10T20:38:00.000+10:00

Skulls

As I've stated in the very beginning of this blog, back in January, I'm a big Jackie Chan fan. So I've been following the press junket of his new movie, The Tuxedo, so I've been seeing alot of Jennifer Love Hewitt, and doesn't she look more and more like a refugee from a third world country suffering from the worst famine in recorded history? I mean she's LITERALLY a head on a stick. Sheesh, I swear I can see her fucking skull through her face. Hey, Jennifer, Ethiopia called, they wanna lend a hand in helping to feed you. They're sending over those milky porridge and high protein biscuits since you look like you're even more starving than them.

I can't understand what's the appeal of chicks like her. I've nailed a few skin and bones chicks like her, and I always felt like I was boning a wooden plank. As I mentioned before, I came back with bruises all over my body. I mean, I didn't know if I should give her a sandwich rather than giving her my...er...sausage. And when I was fucking her mouth, and I made the mistake of looking down, and I got a flashback of earlier in the week when I was fooling around with the skull in the biology lab, pretending the skull was blowing me. *shudder*

2002-10-09T22:08:00.000+10:00

The Elephant Man

I was out drinking with my friends, which two of them are seniors in college, despite them being like 26, due to circumstances beyond their control. Anyways, they were talking about how they try to pick chicks up and school, and is kept meeting with responses like "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW....you're like 7 years older than me!" You know what, if you're in the same school, doing the same thing, I don't really think age should be a huge factor. I mean, I saw this couple, the dude looked like he was in his late 20s, chick looked like she was not even 20 yet, and I didn't do anything evil, like following the chick, checking where she lives, and sending a poison pen letter to her parents, or anything like that. I just gave them an evil eye on general principles, and left them alone. No skin off my dick.

Only time age is objectionable to me is when the dude is middle aged, married currently or previously, and keeping a chick half his age. That's when Jun becomes evil. Not only do I look like an elephant, except with a flat nose, I share the never forget quality with them as well. You never know, middle aged man. Might end up in a dark alley alone with Jun, who's laden with evil thoughts. Bwahahahahahahahahahahaha! Some day...Some day...

2002-10-06T00:35:00.000+10:00

In Hair We Trust

I think I mentioned before how much I miss my hair. Well, I saw the funniest thing today when I was waiting for the subway. Saw this balding dude, who grew his hair to his shoulders. Sheesh. And almost bald at the top. Hair on the back and side of his head to his shoulders, almost bald at the top. Should I ever go bald (god forbid should I add another negative mark to my appearance. That should make my ugliness reach astronomic proportions), I'm definitely not gonna make myself a fucking laughingstock by doing a Michael Bolton and growing out what hair I have left. I don't like long hair THAT much, as much as I miss my long hair. I look stupid enough already, anyways.

2002-10-04T03:41:00.000+10:00

Left Out In The Cold

Everyone is blogging, except me, with the last post date of Sunday staring at me in the face. Well, I haven't done much really, didn't even think since I got some work that's taking up alot of my attention. Not that it's difficult work, just fucking annoying. Only thing that is of remote interest is that I've just came back from drinking since two in the afternoon, and I don't feel drunk. Only a little sleepy and stupid. Well...I feel stupid most of the time, so not an unusual occurence. Been drinking with that guy who's an asshole to his girlfriend. Apparently right before I got there, they got into a shouting match in the car, parked in the middle of the street. No, let me rephrase that. The asshole was shouting at the chick. And he spent all day on the phone arguing with her. If he wasn't such a close friend, would have told the chick to break up with him, and then get her on the rebound. Oh well. That's what I get for abandoning my efforts to stay sexually amoral, just for a lousy friend.

Oh, and the weather is getting pretty cold here, and when I was coming back, when I blew into the wind, I could see faint steam coming out of my mouth. First time I've seen that in years, living on a tropical island and all that. So was huffing into the wind like the wolf hankering for some pork, and grinning like the village idiot. Sometimes I'm so fucking pathetic, I amaze even myself.

2002-09-29T15:38:00.000+10:00

Adult Beverage

A couple of days ago, I was coming back home late at night, happy (SOMEONE knows why), when I spy this young kid maybe of high school age drunk out of his gourd, sitting on the sidewalk and puking his guts out. Isn't there anything more pathetic in the world than some guy that young who can't handle their liquor, having to upchuck all over the street? I mean, if you're a chick then I understand. Chicks need to know what their absolute limit is, lest some guy like me comes along, gives them drinks, distract them by telling funny stories, then when the blackout starts to hit...:evil: But as far as guys are concerned, when the buzz starts happening, they should know better to slow down on the alcohol intake. Or else you're just a drunkard.

And besides, when I was that age (couple of years ago, honest!) alcohol was very hard to come by, you know? We needed very expensive fake ID's to get some. Or diligently kiss someone's ass who were old enough to be of legal age for alcohol purchase. So no matter what, we're not gonna throw anything up unless we died first. When it's so valuable, we keep it in our ass, or by god we ain't MEN.

2002-09-27T16:27:00.000+10:00

Project: Go Tee

I've been growing a goatee for a couple of weeks now, and it's becoming furry and fuzzy. MMMM. Reminds me of something else. Anyways, I've been growing this through protests, derision, contempt and mocking from my friends, who accuse me of looking like a thief, mugger, rapist, or the worst, a COOL Christian dude. What the hell do they know anyways? They're the one who's cheats on their girlfriends while I just WISH for one.

I think some guy's problems towards fidelity is that when they're girlfriends are concerned, they want nice, presentable, RESPECTABLE chick. So as a result, ends up getting some very unsatisfactory booty, since they don't want their chicks to be a *gasp* slutty. Me, I don't give a fuck. Wait. I DO give a fuck. Many fucks. Lemme rephrase that. I don't really care about being respectable. My philosophy is that if I get everything I want at home, I'm not gonna go cheating on a gf. Simple as that. That's possibly why there's so much trade in Japan in sick fetish prostitution. I mean, sick even to my standards. Now, if every chick was a slut, then no dude's gonna be cheating. So ladies of the world, being a slut is GOOD. Hehehehe.

2002-09-25T17:18:00.000+10:00

Celebrity

If you live long enough, you see almost anything. Last night I was watching some late night TV program on the Computer Game Network here, and they had this feature in which they set up a pair of chicks with a professional gamer, yes PROFESSIONAL GAMER, and then the couple played some games together against the other couple. And the more surprising is that the audience was like 3/4 chicks, screaming at the gamers, and most of them were pretty hot. Sheesh. Even gamers have groupies. Although those geeks probably don't know what to do with a woman if she came up a bit him in the...er...frightening concept, nevermind. Anyways, I need to become a celebrity of some kind, pretty quick, to get some of that groupie action. And I would know what to do with a woman, bite or no.

2002-09-23T17:02:00.000+10:00

Beautiful Day

I feel alot better now. Thanks to Miel and Jenny for helping out. And I went drinking with my friends yesterday, from 4:30PM to 1:00AM. And one of them had brought his girlfriend, and seeing them had cheered me up greatly. The guy was trying to be a little affectionate, tried to kiss her on her cheek, and she told him to stop it. On her cheek! Jeez. I would rather be single, relieving myself rather than be with a chick like that. I mean, saying no where THAT'S involved is grounds for a breakup. I don't really give a fuck if she says no any other time, but if she says no to my amorous advances, then she's out on her ass.

I would feel sorry for my friend, if he wasn't a cheating, domineering bastard.

2002-09-21T15:14:00.000+10:00

Old Habits

I feel very sick. I had this thought when I was sitting in front of the computer that while other people are getting some, here I am, holding my dick in my hands. Literally. Makes me feel really small and pathetic and worthless, and is almost paralyzing me. Can't even get myself off, and you KNOW that's serious. And it's hitting me harder than usual, since I wasn't fully recovered from the last entry. I think I'm NEED to take a nap before I can't overcome the urge to do a swan dive from the 23rd floor balcony.

-------------------------------

If I don't blog again...you know what happened.

2002-09-21T01:45:00.000+10:00

Challenger One

At the subway yesterday near my house, the tracks are elevated at that point in the line, so needing a climb up a long flight of stairs. Now, in the middle of the stairs, there's a landing, and yesterday as I was climbling it, I saw this 70 year old lady selling a meager collection of magnifying glasses and cases and being ignored by practically everyone. And of course, I bought a case off her, for five bucks. And although I was a little depressed at the sight, I tried to put it out of my mind until I got to the platform, where I saw a really old man, around the same age group as the lady selling the glasses, mopping the floor and getting ignored by practically everyone,. It pretty much made me lose my MANLY facade, blinking back tears, first time I had even an urge to cry in like 10 years.

I don't know, but whenever I see the elderly having to do menial labor really makes me rue the society that we're living in. Don't they have kids? Family? What the fuck are they doing letting these old people work at these sucky jobs to make a living. If they were my parents, I would have to be dead before I let them get reduced to that. And afterwards in the subway, when I overheard two girls talking about a new cell phone colors that are in style this season, and how they're gonna buy a new one while I spyed a perfectly fine phone dangling from their waists, I had this overwhelming urge to break my philosophy of never committing an act of violence on a woman.

Damn, I'm getting all depressed again. I'm gonna go take a shower and go to bed. Gotta wake up in like 5 hours for a family road trip. Yuck. With kids. That means no smoking. *Shudder* And it takes like 4~5 hours to go there and back. Probably I will be in a FOUL mood tomorrow, naturally.

2002-09-19T11:01:00.000+10:00

Master Thespian

I was watching some early morning TV today at like 6 in the morning. (Read: stayed up all night, looking at porn and getting a handle on myself) They had this educational program on about conversational English, with the main focus being this skit and a couple of people explaining what the skit meant. And lemme tell you, the acting was sooooooooooo bad that I was literally waiting for the 70's funk music to come on and the two actors there, who were playing a couple in a mild disagreement, to get naked and start getting it on on the couch. I mean, I was getting a lump in my pants, anticipating, having forgotten for a second that I'm watching network television where porn is illegal.

It's painful now anyways, even if it happened to be porn. Yesterday, a fleck of lit ash fell of my cigarette, and landed on my ring finger. On my IMPORTANT hand. And I only use that hand exclusively to conduct my business. Can't do it with the other hand. So got a blister on the finger, and it hurts like a motherfucker everytime I grab onto something.

It doesn't stop me, though.

2002-09-18T22:09:00.000+10:00

Personal Hygiene And You

Anybody who spends alot of time out and about, going around for various reasons get to see alot of bathrooms. It's the same for me, and one thing I've noticed is that this place has a total infatuation with bidets. You know, the toilet apparatus that supposedly replaces toilet tissue. In other words, those thing on the seat that shoots water up your ass. Which pretty much grosses me out. Thing that grosses me out even more is that they have infomercials about it on TV. Very graphic too. Take pane of plastic, small, ridged circle in the middle, covered with some brown stuff, and they show the bidet cleaning it out. YUCK! Perhaps that's why they have so much healthy, perfect assholes here.

In the diary portion of my blog, I was riding the subway, had to transfer lines, and saw this old lady selling small baby bunny rabbits. I was suddenly overcome with an urge to stand there, oohing and aahing at the bunny rabbits, exclaiming how cute it is and clapping my hands when it scurries around, twitching its nose. I hand to get a hold of myself, repeat "I BE MANLY!" several times to myself before the urge passed. Had a close one there. *Whew*

2002-09-18T07:47:00.000+10:00

King Of The Hill

After spending the weekend feeling like a laboratory specimen pickled in alcohol, I capped off the Great Bender Weekend by drinking three guys to the ground last night. Two guys were literally falling down drunk, and the other guy wasn't feeling any pain either. That's what I get for drinking with dudes approaching middle age. So I had to make sure all three guys got cabs, tell the driver where to go, pay the driver, and curse Bacchaus that we all happen to live in opposite corners of town.

I'm tired, but not that drunk, and to make the night suck even more, I had insomnia because I was too tired. Too much drinking, sitting in one place crouched over, and intense walking to get to the next bar for four days is catching up to me, I think. Body hurts all over, and I don't really know what I'm typing here, since I'm spaced out as well. So woke up after like three hours of sleep, and moaned in pain all night, until I gave up sleeping at 6AM.

Time for some coffee, I think. Then maybe a nap. Yeah...nap sounds really good.

SHEESH. I'm getting old. Talking about a fuckin' nap sounding good.

.........

Oh yeah, and the goatee is coming along fine.

2002-09-14T19:17:00.000+10:00

Living On A Prayer

When my list of celebrities I wanna nail first went up, I've been accused of having a fascination of chicks that has a "model's figure", or so they say. I think that's a very generalized and unfair statement. When judging celebrities, there's only one kind of body type to choose from anyways. I only made the list from their faces, and a specific feature, disregarding how bony they look. Or else, the list would have been limited to like three names or something. Like for example, I like Avril Lavigne's pants, Hsu Chi's pout, Vanessa Carlton's smile, Nena Kerner's dance, Denise Richards' hair, how a woman pushing 40 like Kylie Minogue can look that good that exposed and not look like a body builder, etc. You get the idea.

Speaking about beatiful people, that's what I prayed for when I went to church on Sunday, aside from my usual prayer of getting chick(s) who likes sex as much as I do. No, I didn't pray that I somehow become magically good looking. I KNOW something like that will never be accomplished, unless my name is AbraHam instead of Jun Ham. I prayed that I make enough money to afford to get radical plastic surgery on my face. Now THAT might have a chance to be fulfilled.

In the spirit of the prayer, I decided to grow a goatee and sideburns. The rationale behind it is this. You know like how a junk yard might have a mangy dog, one milky, blind eye, half the fur missing with pink skin disease on the exposed skin. You're too busy looking and feeling sorry yet repulsed by the mutt to notice all the junk. Same principle, people will too busy looking at my hideous facial hair to notice the Indian train derailment that is my face. So now I have this dark fuzzy thing down there, alot like someone I know and chat with now and then. It's not how much intelligence you have, it's how you use it.

2002-09-12T13:47:00.000+10:00

Year One

So today is the first anniversary, and I'm not gonna say much since there's gonna be better, smarter people than me who's probably gonna produce reams of material. I just wanna make a little observation, about war. Why is it that people who claim that they pray alot and mention praying at every other sentence seem to be the most blood thirsty mob in history since the Golden Horde streaming down the plains of Romania? What happened to turn the other cheek and the golden rule? What happened to standing in the middle of the coliseum and praying while lions, tigers and bears eat their asses? For example, the douche bag, Pat Robertson, whenever the topic of Iraq comes up, he's PISSED that we're not invading and assasinating Saddam Hussein, and morally offended that all the other nations are not coming along on this crusade. The white of his eyes all become bloodshot, and he's shaking in fury that he can't pick up a M-16 and kill a few of them damn infidel Iraqi's. I wouldn't be surprised if that loony grows a beard and makes para-military training tapes, crazy eyed bastard.

2002-09-10T03:22:00.000+10:00

Ol' Timey Religion

Yesterday, I went to church for the first time in like 6 years, and aside from being totally uncomfortable with the patronizing niceness of everyone, it kinda pissed me off. Y'see, the church I went to was this glass and steel edifice, 10 stories tall, with a glass enclosed elevator and an auditorium that seats 1,500 people. They had a sound system almost rivaling an arena concert, and plasma big screen tv's in case you can't exactly see the preacherman's pimples. Of course, marble floors and granite walls comes standard, with enough rooms to house everyone in my island.

The reason why it pissed me off is because I'm in a place that calls itself the house of god, but there's 65 year old women in the subway station selling bags of cakes for a dollar. I know that a church shouldn't be some charity where everyone gets freebies, but it shouldn't be this gaudy either. AND they were selling some religious trinkets at the door for ten bucks. I mean, if Jesus was there, there woulda been some major house cleaning done. AND that's not the only church that's that fancy, either. No wonder, since they collect about 25,000 dollars a week. No one ever said that religion was a bad racket.

I BE MANLY!

Tearry Eyed Goodbye

Fare Thee Well

Best Medicine

Children Of The Mind

As The Jun Turns

Bitch School

Toni Basil Blues

No Rest For The Wicked

Day That Will Live In Infamy

Hard Hat And The Scarecrow

Wishes And Horses

Everyone’s A…

The Good, The Bad, And The Jun

Model Behavior

MANLY Not Stupid

Sunday, Bloody Sunday

Mission Control

Day After Tomorrow

End Of The Line

So I Said I Never Get Emotional

When Geeks Attack

Yellow Bellied Black Snake

Morality Tail

Brain Juice

Plastic Syndrome

The Magic Dragon

Resolution, Baby!

Like A Dog

Gift Of The Magi

BAH! HUMBUG!

Holiday Spirit

Gnashing Of Teeth

What Goes Around

Short Attention Span Theater

The Mask Of Cameron

Being Jun XII

The Casting Couch

Feverish Nightmare

5,000 Miles To Graceland

Being Jun XI

Certain Point Of View

Morality Tail

Righting The Wrong, Blaming The Wicked

Being Jun X

Looking Out The 23rd Floor Window

Elderly Delinquent

Insecurities And Exchange Commission

Being Jun IX

Bitches' Brew

Giving Up

Shameless Rip-off

Being Jun VIII

Joe Q. Instant

Big Hair, Scary Face

Being Jun VII

Unnewsworthy

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

On The Inside

Further Reflections

Being Jun VI

The New Pollution

In My Dreams

Being Jun V

On The Way To The 20th Century

Being Jun IV

Being Jun III

Mostly Useless

Ode To Joy

Being Jun II

Point Of Entry

Being Jun

Pork Barrel

Take Me Out To The...

Rescue Me

Medium Rare

Broken Promises

Title Of Record

Habit Forming

All Filler, No Killer

BAH!

HUMBUG!